Twitter Wait! Not all communication is of value

I love hearing other people's thoughts, ideas and stories. I genuinely dig when I get a window into the inner workings of someone else's psyche. I am fascinated by what motivates people to speak, write, and create relationships. So, in many ways, I find the crazy technological tornado of communication tools available now fantastic. Self-expression is at our fingertips. As a passionate believer that self-expression is the avenue to a fabulous life, I consider this easy access to that expression a gift.

A potentially dangerous gift.

Even for those of us who try to be very conscious about our communication, there are times when we feel compelled to say something. We get all revved up to get it out there. Then, circumstances gratefully get in the way and we are glad we didn't. In the non-technological realm, this happens most often with just one other person. So, even if we do end up speaking without thinking, we just have one place to go to make our best repair attempt. While you can never erase communication, if the relationship is strong, we can often make things significantly better by a heart-felt apology.

Two aspects of technological communication are high risk: 1. large-audience broadcast is easy and, 2. you have no nonverbal support for your message.

Case in point: Twitter. Penelope Trunk (author of the book, Brazen Careerist), whose blog I greatly enjoy reading because it is funny and insightful (as well as courageous and irreverent, which is good and bad at varying times - but virtually always intriguing), has just started "twittering". In case you don't know (which I didn't before she introduced me), Twitter is a free service that allows you to update your relationship network regarding your every move and thought throughout your day with quick one-liners.

For example, Penelope twittered the following: "I'm blogging about my husband. He comes up behind and asks, Where is the laundry? I startle. Shriek. My son thinks we're fighting and cries." An hour later, she twitters the following: "I hate my last twitter. Where is the recall button? I want you to think I'm fun and my kids are happy and my husband is not still lurking."

See? The thing is, no recall button exists! This is why we need complication and various circumstances to get in the way of our communicating our every thought and feeling just as it arises. If you have to stare someone in the face, you will think longer about what you will say - if for no other reason than you will have to deal with their reaction real-time. Even if you use the phone, there is a sense of partnership in the communication: you talk, I listen. I respond, you respond to my response. I pause, you ask what's on my mind. You sigh, I try a new tactic to help you understand my perspective. Email gets trickier because, except for a few generalized emoticons :-b, nonverbal is nil. But at least with email, there is the sense of purpose for communication. We write to a person and have an intention for the contact. Generally, we think about what we write in an email because we have all been forwarded emails that we know weren't intended for others' viewing and we realize that could happen to us.

I am still struggling with the value of Twitter in the world of human relationships. For the most part, how is randomly broadcasting a passing thought or activity adding to quality of life? Twitter says right on their website that they are a "modern antidote to information overload". I'm wondering how they are not the opposite.

My point is this: only thoughtful and conscious communication is of value. If your filters are defective - or missing entirely - you are particularly at high risk using snazzy technological communication tools. I'm not saying don't use them. I'm saying, don't use all of them - and use the ones you choose thoughtfully.

Because, as burdensome as this is, you really cannot take back communication. Once it's out there, it's out there.